Loneliness is here

Sometimes I find myself feeling lonely. Which, on the surface, can be surprising in this overly connected, yet superficial world. Much of my work is remote. My friends are scattered all over the country. And those that are close are just as busy as me. Yet, I have a beautiful family that brings me joy. Still sometimes, loneliness arrives. 

It feels like an internal pulling. Somewhere in my upper chest and shoulders. A physical yearning. For connection. For conversation. For validation of worthiness. LIke a 50/50 desire and aversion, I want to be in connection with people as much as I dislike being alone. 

This morning that feeling came on strong in my meditation. Seemingly out of nowhere, I guess like all emotions do. I was caught off guard by it. Busy lately, I haven’t thought much about connection. But in retrospect, after just a few moments with the sensation in my chest, I can say connection has not been at the top of my list recently. It seems to get left behind on the way to striving at work, with my family, or just taking out the trash. 

So, today, I sat with loneliness. 

Just like any emotion, the urge is to fix it. So, I tried to find its location. I tried to find its reason. Massage it. Love it. Change it. Just like normal, nothing worked. 

Until, of course, I just let it be.

“Loneliness is here” I said to myself. And it softened. 

“Loneliness is here”. And it turned into appreciation.

“Loneliness is here”. And it morphed into love. 

Love for those people I have connection with in my life. Even if not active right now. Gratitude for the relationship. The heart of loneliness, which is of course, love. 

Like any emotion. Loneliness just wants to be seen. It’s a call from beyond to remind us to reach out. To care for the relationships in our life. A signpost to bring us back to the essence of being human, connection. So when loneliness shows up in your life. Don’t grovel. Don’t bask in the shade of its despair. Appreciate it as a reminder to be with others. To laugh. To cry. To feel the depth of human emotion with those around you. To be vulnerable and let yourself be seen. The good and the bad. Don’t hide your true emotions. Let them flow and the loneliness with flow through you and morph into the love that you have for the world and the people in your life.